Happiness Cultivator

As a wavy haired girlie who is also a millennial, I went through my pains of wanting pin straight hair for so long as that is what all the pretty girls had. I was not savvy to the world of beauty and legitimately did not know what a hair straightener was until I was over the age of 14! Which is probably a crazy thought to any teenager these days, but social media was not nearly the resource it is like today for beauty.

Anyway, that is a long-winded way of saying your girl was straightening her hair constantly. Anyone that has regularly used a hair straightener has probably burned themselves at least once on those incredibly hot plates whether it’s on your hands or ears. Thankfully I only have maybe one or two of those instances but boy are they memorable.

I was straightening my hair one evening as a teenager and not paying attention I reached out and full on grabbed the hot plate but for some reason I did not notice it immediately, so my poor thumb got burned pretty bad. I recoiled in pain so loudly that it caused my parents to come check in on me. My thumb was in searing pain as I frantically searched for something cold to plunge it in.

Throughout the night I kept putting ice and cold water on it until my dad came in and said, “you know you’re going to have to let it burn., right?” I was adamant that nope I would just keep the cold on there and avoid that horrible burning sensation but as the night continued on, I finally pulled the cold away and sat very still and felt the sensations run to the surface. I started fidgeting wishing the rest of my body could just detach from this pain, but I of course realized that was not possible. I just took some OTC pain meds and just closed my eyes and felt the pain and after I’m not even sure how long it was a dull ache. My dad was right I just had to let it burn.

I have the tendency as many to try and run from the pain but there are times where that is just not an option. There were so many times that I ruminated on pain that eventually turned into suffering. There is a saying that I will be honest I do not know where it originated but it says, “pain multiplied by resistance equals suffering”. Meaning the longer you resist the pain the more you turn it into suffering. It took me a few times saying that phrase before I really understood what it meant. I got it on a superficial level than I reflected and realized my rumination prolonged healing from so many things throughout my entire life.

There are going to be pains in your life that you just have to feel. Like my dad said you’re just going to have to let it burn. It might burn longer for you than most and that’s ok, we all are different. Give yourself grace and compassion through the burning, it hurts like hell but there is an after. If you choose to rug sweep or self-medicate with substance abuse, the pain will just be patiently waiting until you finally just sit with it. Do not lose precious time on this earth to avoiding the pain because you will eventually end up avoiding the good.